That Old Black Magic
by OnehitWonder7777777
Summary: How 'True Hearts Days' should've happened, Sorry Cupid. Prince Hipster& Little Elphaba fluff. Read if you want a sugar attack. Lizzie Hearts!
1. Chapter 1

I'm Not That Girl!

_True Hearts Days_ was a ^%*&%#^ in a ^#(( *^%#^$ !

My need for fluff will be met even if I have to do it myself! God, this thing is failing as a distraction, I may as well get a life if they're going to make me work so hard for satisfaction.

Nothing belong to me.

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The fairies were fluttering, the cakes were moist and Kitty stole enough keys to open a store. It was a wonderful party for everyone.

Everyone not named Raven Queen.

Even when surrounded by her contagiously giddy friends the little witch felt cold inside her chest.

The generous, good side of her swelled with happiness when Ashlynn declared whom her Prince Charming was. The stupid, selfish, miserable side of her dropped like a penny in a well when Raven thought of how she lost a chance to be with an actual Prince Charming.

Watching Maddie futterwaggen never got old, because every single time another body part learned a new way to spend. Despite this, Raven dethatched herself from herself from her dancing friends. She went the east hallway where she could call it a night. Raven's intent was to check her iMirror for the spell on how to teleport herself back to her dorm.

Spells were like math; one wrong thought in practice and she'd end up with her head opened like a walnut. The rebel princess studied the instructions carefully. She then painted the image of her dorm bed in her mind.

Sucking noises interrupted her thoughts of purple& black pillows with three-sunglass-wearing plushies. From around the corner of her eye, Raven saw pigtails engulfed in an embrace.

Seeing the not-so-little Dutch boy hooking up with Ms. Peep was not what Raven needed to see just then.

She pushed away a bad joke in her head, and concentrated on the spell. The dark-haired magic-girl felt the warm, tingling energy of her magic run around in her veins. Raven felt the floor beneath her shoes go soft and the familiar sound of whooshing when her being was pulling between dimensions.

After the tingles receded, Raven felt the chill of being on the outside of a castle. She opened her violet eyes to see she had only transported outside the building she was just in.

"What a waste." She muttered to herself, _walking would've taken less energy_.

"You're telling me." A boyish voice muttered in mutual annoyance.

Raven's shoulders tensed when she turned to her left. She watched Dexter Charming blink and lose color. He seemed to be surprised to see her as well.

"Oh. Dexter. Hi." Raven smiled widely; she knew it probably looked fake but it was the best she could do.

"Hey…Robin- Raven. Ra-veen. Uh, hey. You." The shy prince stuttered.

"Hexellcent party, huh?"

"Mmm-hmm." Dexter said as he chewed on his lips.

_This is so awkward I could melt_, Raven thought to herself. _But this could be worst, so I might as well just cast a truth spell on myself._

"I'm sorry about earlier but I'm really, honestly happy for you and Cupid." _Close-ish to the truth._

Dexter stopped chewing on his lips to say. "Thanks you….you and Cu- I mean me and Cupid?"

"Yeah, she's a sweetheart and I always though you guys looked close and good together, so yeah, it's great- everything great about…it. You and her, I mean." _And the award for most redundant speech goes to…._

Not unlike an insane person, Dexter began to shake his head and blather incoherently.

"Wait- wait –wait, she and I, she and me- and mean weam, we are never, I'm- I mean we're not- oh Grim, BLAH!" The young not-so smooth Charming was just realizing how he and is confidante looked like to other fairy tales.

It had occurred to Raven she hadn't heard Dexter talk much before. She knew he was the quiet type but she just then realized he'd yet to say more than fifty words directly to her before.

"Um, Dex?" Raven asked gently.

The bespectacled prince was not-so-gently fist-pumping his head with guilt when Raven approached him. She looked like the moon, if the moon was a hot-goth girl.

"Dexter, this might be humiliating for both of us but I need to ask something."

The hipster prince knew where she was going, he tried not to squint his eyes and appear as if someone set him on fire.

"Did you mean what you said in the poem you gave me?" The Evil Queen's daughter asked.

His fists were clenching and he wished he remembered how breathing worked. _Say absolutely nothing_, Dexter thought as he nodded his head.

To his delight and terror, Raven smiled brightly.

"Okay. That's nice." Raven said with her hands folded in front of her.

Her smile was lovely, but Dexter found the moment anti-climatic; like it was in the process of building up higher.

"Uh, nice?" Dexter managed; not even his pet jackaloppe knew how hard that was for him.

The prince was up against a wall with the ghoul of his dream staring him down.

"Yeah- it was…magical. It was so weird it made me think straight. I really liked it." Raven explained to him, looking at her spikey bracelet as she did.

_Oh gort,_ Dexter had exactly what he always dreamed of happening happen to him and he felt like he wasn't there. It was an out of body sort of experience that made him imagine he was watching Raven talk to someone who looked a lot like him.

Raven sensed he was petrified and stepped back. "I feel like I'm talking too much."

"That's the best thing for right now. Seriously." The scarf-wearing boy let slip.

He was like a lamb waiting to be slaughtered; Raven found it adorable.

A good princess would've let Dexter unclench his jaw and act like a proper gentleman because that was traditional. However, tradition was a relic that needed an update.

With her scary beautiful eyes cutting into his core, Dexter stood still as Raven walked even closer to him.

_Do something, do something, do something….she smells like gingerbread_, Dexter thought as the girl's face came up to his. Raven planted a soft little peck on cheek.

"Please don't be scared of me." The witch softly asked him.

"I absolutely am." Dexter told her, and then watched her face drop in hurt.

"I'm horrified and sick to my stomach." The prince admitted, then abruptly grabbing her hot-moon-face. "And I love it."

There was something poisonous about Raven's lips; while they were normal, raspberry-lipgloss-tasty in the physical world there was a dangerous side effect to continued contact with them.

They made Dexter unlike himself; he grabbed face, and then the left hand took her neck while the right arm pulled her closer. The back of his left hand felt her feathery high-collar while his arm snaked its way to her stomach.

Raven's hands rested on his shoulders. She tried not to think too much about the falling glasses between their noses.

With an unnecessary dryness beginning in his throat, Dexter pulled away from Raven. She was disoriented and funny looking; that was when Dexter realized his glasses fell between them. They rested in the space between his scarf and her boobs.

Dexter blushed as he put his specs back on. Raven still had her eyes closed.

She slowly opened them to give Dexter a careful stare; it wasn't very warm. It was like she was studying him scientifically.

"And that was…" Raven tried to start to say.

"Yeah?" Dexter asked, becoming anxious for a good report on his romantic act. It was a Charming thing to be excellent in such activities.

Raven smiled, shrugged and then began laughing. Dexter did not feel great when she started laughing but as she put her head on his chin, he began giggling as well.

"Oh Grim, we almost didn't let this happen!" Rave exclaimed, still laughing. "I was just about to poof home and avoid talking to you for the rest of ever after!"

"I know! I probably would've let you! Oh sweet fairy song, that would've been so stupid!"

"Just not talking about this- at all! Letting the tension build; what idiots do that?"

"Oh Habbey!"

"Huh?" Raven was still smiling, despite the confusion from her prince's funny habits.

"Sorry, new at talking. To you. But I like it _so_ much!" Dexter said as he felt Raven's skull belt on his pants.

"Me too, well not that's its new but, oh who cares, you know what I mean!" The happy girl said as she peaked his lips again.

Looking in his bright blue eyes, Raven felt 100% good for the first time ever.

"This. Is. Perfect." Raven stated, fixing his crooked tiara.

"Don't jinx me for saying this, but you may have just jinxed us." The pessimistic prince told the wickedly awesome girl.

Raven was about to defend herself when a little 'a-hem' came from the right of them. It was Lizzie Hearts, looking positively murderous with annoyance.

The still-embraced couple stared at her, waiting to hear her scream 'Off with your heads'!

Lizzie crossed her arms and cordially said, "You hethans stole my first kiss."

Dexter blinked in confusion as Raven questioned her villainous-classmate, "Actually, it was my first kiss and-"

"No! Mine! Like everything is mine!" The princess with the face-tattoo stated as she walked up to the wary two.

Without warning, Lizzie pulled Raven's face into her diamond gloved hand. Dexter watched the story-book villainesses liplock, though Raven's eyes were wide open.

His mouth dropped open but before he could object, Lizzie squeezed his cheeks into a pucker.

After they both got what _she_ deserved, the Red Princess said, "I'd say… well you know the my spiel, however it'll be more fun to watch the Royals eat you too up."

Lizzie licked her lips then walked away with her nose high in the air.

The stunned fairy tales stood against the wall. The moon had shifted so they were n the shadows.

"Do you want to remember what just happened?" Raven asked.

"Everything except the parts with Lizzie. She bite me." The prince admitted, feeling a sting in the edge of his mouth.

"Oh, sweetie." Raven put an index finger to his bruised bottom lip.

She applied the tiniest bit of pressure; it released just enough healing magic to make the purple coloring go away.

Feeling better than ever before, Dexter pushed back the feelings of disturbia he felt whenever a Wonderland creature came near him.

"I am so writing a song about this." The prince geeked out, letting most of Raven go. Except for her hand.

"Promise we can sing it together?" Raven would never let Apple know, but she loved singing.

"Yeah, I'm sorry to say but you're with the Prince Charming that doesn't sing well. At all." Dexter tried to keep his older brother's soothing, melodious voice out of his mind.

"Sorry, but I stopped listening after you said 'I'm with my very own Prince Charming'. The one I like best throughout the land." Raven told him, feeling a new sort of electricity circulate in her veins.

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	2. Chp 2

"Your eyes are so _blue_. You know how you can hear the ocean in a shell? I feel like I can see the depths of the ocean right now." Raven Queen told her boyfriend as they sat on her bed. There were hex-books on their laps, and notes were taken down, but very little substantial studying.

Dexter had taken off his glasses to wipe them clean. He wanted then to say something nice about Raven, but she always did it first and better. The Prince didn't mind- actually, it made him feel better every minute.

"You, you're, you're like- I mean. Thanks." Dexter spat out with weak conviction.

The little dork was so cute when he tried. Raven was getting in the habit of rewarding him with every ounce of effort. The soft kisses from her lips mixed with the sharp bristles of her feathery collar shot shivers up Dexter's spine. His giggle could be compared to a baby elephant.

The moment would've been perfect, except when the young Prince Charming opened his eyes there was a scary sight. He was unafraid of Raven's purple and black jewels and decorations- he was fearful of her roommate.

The usually sugar-sweet Apple White was going blue with screaming. The couple couldn't hear her screaming because Raven put up a glowing-violet force field to separate them from the bleach-blonde.

To prove he could ignore the Royal disapproval, Dexter put his hand on Raven's.

The dark princess wanted to do more, but she wasn't heartless. She knew Apple's fists would be black by now and in all her bliss- Raven felt generous.

"Lets save some for later." She said to his neck before kissing his check.

Dexter's inhale had a squeaky edge to it. He slid of the bed, not unlike a boneless man.

"I'll text you tomorrow morning. When I wake up. Before food, or shower. Hex, I'm going to do it as soon as dawn." The Prince Charming promised as he took Raven's hand. Dexter gave it a squeeze, then picked himself off of her floor to walk to her door.

With the prince gone, Raven let the shield down. Apple's heaving breathing reminded the little witch of her pet dragon's fiery lungs.

"You're going to want some tea and honey tonight- you have a speech to give tomorrow." The violet haired girl said to her prissy roommate.

"I. Really. Don't. Like. You." The fair-skinned maiden huffed out.

Raven gently smiled, it was ironic while still kindly pitiful. "I'll get the pot boiling."

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A small worry in Dexter's mind was he would be locked out of his dorm. Since True Hearts Day Ashlynn visited his and Hunter's shared dorm more often. In spirit, Dexter felt support and respect from the forest-loving couple. In reality, Dexter was pushed to the side as they indulged in each other. That didn't upset the prince because he was happy with having the goth of his dreams returning his affections.

As Dexter turned the knob to enter his dorm, he felt nothing in the world could pop his bubble.

Like a cold slap in the face, a sour smelling/tasting goop was thrown in Dexter's face. The sludge got behind his glasses and he could feel his airy hair droop.

"It was for your own good, brother." Daring charming said, holding a bucket.

Dexter removed his glasses and asked, "Why Daring? Why?"

"I loathed touching the filthy bucket, but it was for the sake of our kingdom and family reputation! I went to a wizard on how to solve the curse put on you. For a small fortune, he brewed this cure to break the love-spell that wicked little witch put on you. You're welcome." The blonde, dashing prince told his younger-by-nine-months brother.

"Daring, when we were eight Mother brought us, and Darling to a Fairy Godmother for anti-love-curses-shots. They're impenetrable antibodies of protection so that no magic would ever alter us from finding our true loves." Dexter explained as he walked to his bathroom. He turned the faucets on and began removing his foul smelling jacket.

"Then why in fairy song are you fornicating with the enemy!" The angry prince demanded.

"Think of your favorite hand mirror, then we can talk about real girls." Dexter said before Daring grabbed him by the scarf.

"Do not push me, Dexter. You are playing a fool and if you were anyone else I wouldn't give a lamb. But you are a _Prince_ Charming. There are responsibilities you must adhere to – for the sake of everyone's Happily Ever After." Daring never thought he had to tell his little brother such words. However, after seeing Dexter hold hands with the Evil Queen's daughter, the future king felt his real brother had died.

"Get out of my room, bro." Dexter said, feeling a new resentment building his chest layering on top of the others he had for Daring.

It was like hitting his crown against a brick wall; Daring let go of Dexter. The muscular prince stared at his lanky brother with fury and, deep down, concern.

"I once thought you were the smart one." Daring said arrogantly. He didn't have the heart to harm his bespectacled sibling. But he had the nerve to puff up his own ego through insulting him.

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"Please."

"No."

"Pretty please with honey on top."

"Stop it, Blondie."

"I'll retract the rumor going around that kissing Raven takes years off your life." The nosy fairy-tale begged her cameraman.

_I wish that were true so I could end this conversation,_ Dexter thought as he closed his locker. The porridge-loving girl had been begging the prince for an interview about him and his 'destiny-destroying-succubus'.

"If Raven agreed to it would you say yes?" The girl-who-did-not-know-boundaries asked.

"Yes, sure, you should ask her." The square-rimmed glasses told her.

Blondie shook her head, "You're so whipped, it's just not right."

Dexter rolled his eyes, but as he saw a purple storm cloud approach, his mood brightened.

"Hi Blondie." Raven politely said; the corners of her eyes wore sharp black wings off the side.

"Raven, what are you doing this Tuesday? " There was a ridiculous amount of hope in Blondie's sky-blue eyes.

"Adding a chapter to my memoir of how I seduced this boy with my smexy." Raven said as she grabbed Dexter's arm. She drew small squares that glowed bright periwinkle on his jacket sleeve.

As the dominantly purple girl walked away with him, Blondie pulled her jaw off the floor. She was then smiling like a crazy person with the new fodder to play off of.

Dexter smirked at his witty witch. "Why?"

"She makes it too easy." Raven said while holding Dexter's elbow as they walked to the castleteria. "Are you sure you want to go in?"

Raven had gotten the story of the Charming brothers' disagreement at the break of dawn. Being together in the castleteria was already tough. The Royals were unwelcoming of her. Their disapproving glares, and betting pool of how long the relationship would last, did not put an ounce of regret in Dexter. However, Raven was not made of stone, nor was he but Dexter was more courageous by having a girlfriend to protect.

"If I give the secret signal, can you poof us out right?" Dexter asked his talented black-bodice wearing girlfriend.

"Easily." Raven proudly stated- she was about to ask what the secret signal was but was interrupted. The interruption was magenta, teal and bouncy all over.

"Ravey Wavey!" Madeline Hatter said as she jumped out from under a passing girl's hoop skirt. She bounced up to her bestfriend to give her a cup of tea.

"You have to try this! Dad got it from a catbus!"

"You mean a cat that got off a bus?" Dexter asked, trying to understand Raven's 'unique' bestfriend.

Madeline shook her head, in her big swirl of hair her tiny hat stood on secure. "Silly Dexter, he can't not be on if he's already what he is."

The prince opened his mouth to try to ask Madeline to make more sense, but he then realized he knew better. Raven took a sip of the tea; it had an aftertaste of amazing refreshment.

"Maddy, this spelltacular! Dex, you have to try this!" Raven said, though she finished her own cup.

The hat-maker's daughter got in between the couple and put her arms around her necks. Because she was shorter by an inch and a half, her feet hung in the middle.

"I have more in my hat! Let's sit first, we weren't raised in a barn." Madeline goofily stated.

Raven giggled and Maddy kissed her cheek. Madeline turned her head to whisper in Dexter's ear.

"Keep your chickens in their cubicles." She pronounced her e's with extra force, causing Dexter to become uncomfortable. The kiss on the cheek Madeline gave him made him feel sicker.

"Uh, Raven, can we talk for a minute?" Dexter asked and both girls turned their uncommonly glittering eyes towards him.

"Without a Maddy, please?" The plaid-wearing prince requested.

Raven gave Madeline a look of love and woe; the Wonderlandian took it gracefully. There was a squeak under her hat that the two could hear even as she skipped to the Rebel table.

Raven crossed her arms. "Okay, it's now without-a-Maddy."

"Look, your friends have been really great and I've had a lot of fun when I'm with you and them."

"But?"

"After last night with my brother, I can't side with the Rebels. How about we have lunch on the balcony?"

"Dex, I wish with all of my heart that fairy tales were filled with wisdom and understanding, but they're not. Your brother and the rest of the Royals are just going to have to accept you as a Rebel now." Raven stated, hoping they'd try Maddy's good tea before it went cold.

"There's the thing, my smoky pillar of power, I'm not a Rebel." Dexter Charming told her, hoping she wouldn't zap him into a cucumber.

Raven's eyes were naturally large but her thin, narrow eyebrows lifted high as mountains when she heard his declaration. It was after three seconds that Raven grabbed her boyfriend's hand and poofed them into an empty room. Dexter would later discover the room was in the tallest tower, far away from the castleteria.

There was a thin ray of sunlight from a small window. Raven's body blended into the shadows with only her pale face and neck glowing. "Run that by me again and please use small words."

Dexter didn't consider himself eloquent in arguments so he hoped this wouldn't last too long. "I am still a Royal-"

"Dating the Queen of Rebels." Raven didn't want to be pushy, but Dexter had pushed her buttons. "I mean, seriously! How can you even consider what you're saying to be remotely true?"

There was a spark in Dexter's eyes- a regal sort of glisten of honor and selfishness.

"I'm a Charming Prince. I want to vanquish evil and protect the princess I love. And I want it all leading up to a big happily ever after with the musical number and fluffy, frou-frou wedding. That's my destiny and nothing is changing that."

_I knew you would; I somehow thought I was worth giving it all up for._ "What am I just a toy in your 'Wooing' practices?" Raven snapped.

The ego shrunk as Dexter tried to cool her down. "No, no, no, it's not like that! I want you to be the princess I protect and share my happily ever after with!"

"In your diamond-crusted, sparkling apple-cider world I would be run out of town by an angry mob! Labeled a monster! And definitely not be happy. Ever!" Raven kept from yelling, but there was bitterness in her voice she wished he couldn't hear.

"I know your story is complicated and I hate it too- but Raven, in the story I want to make true it doesn't have to end like that. Think about it, you poison Apple to make everyone happy, then we live in a castle far, far away and if any angry mob tries to poke you with a pitchfork they'll have to go through me! And my knights!"

"You're supposed to end up with a princess who isn't evil!" Raven didn't think a heart would break after three days of dating- but she had a short amount of dating experience so it felt justifiable.

_It's like she has three different faces and brains_, Dexter thought then loudly stated, "And I will! Beacause you're not evil. Why are you being so stubborn?"

His silhouette was visible because of the shine coming from his buttons, glasses and tiara. Raven decided to match his tone of voice.

"Why are you acting so naïve? This is just what everyone is expecting you to be- the good Prince Charming who has a beautiful romance with a sweet, dainty, stupid princess! You choosing the daughter of the Evil Queen is rebelling! And I want it too, I want it so bad, but I couldn't live with myself if I was the reason your dreams burn and die."

Humiliation wasn't new for the young dark princess. She felt ashamed for yelling at the sweet boy but not wrong because he needed to hear it. _We both did_, Raven thought to herself.

The worst part of her speech was it made Dexter love her more. The prince walked into the small light. Raven turned her head so she wouldn't see his face pity her. He didn't make her turn her head; he took both of her hands. Dexter rubbed his thumb on her bird-skull ring and spoke softly.

"How about a compromise? I'll be the good Prince who saves whichever princess needs him the most, while you can do whatever it is you really want to do. If those two futures intersect then we know we're each other's destiny."

The navy-blue-jacketed prince shrugged at his last few words to make them seem lighter; not less real but more gentle.

_He's not a bad talker when you get him started; I hope his princess appreciates that._ Raven took a deep breath and put on a stony face as she looked up and told him, "Ok. The future. Right. Well, it was fun while it lasted."

The ocean-blue eyes blinked a good six times. "Wait, are you dumping me?"

His surprise gave her new encouragement. "No, I mean, I thought you were dumping me!"

"Oh Grim, no!" The prince told her, his glasses almost sliding off his nose.

Raven exhaled and rolled her eyes. She then took her left hand out of his grip to give his shoulder a little push. "My curses, don't scare me like that."

Dexter put a hand to his heart, his skin became clammy.

"I'm having palpitations- say magic things to make it go away?"

_You're so pathetic_; Raven smiled and thanked her stars to have won the heart of the best Charming Prince in history.

"Dexter Charming, you are a ridiculous and a dewy-eyed dope. And I, Raven Queen, adore you intensely." She said as she pulled herself closer to him, their arms bent so that their elbows then touched. "I hope you never change."

"You fail, I may die now." Dexter felt as if he was being hugged by darkness, he felt very nice about it.

_I'll enjoy this until I don't_, Raven promised herself. Before Dexter's poem, Raven's main plan for romance was talking to the goblin- exchange student, Rufus or finding a vampire. The smart side of her knew there were more fights coming, especially if Dexter's only dream was marriage in the long run. But the stupid, softer side of her was happy to be touched by someone who wanted her even if she was evil and, more importantly, wanted the true her.


	3. Chp 3

In the castlertia, there were tables for Royals and tables for Rebels. There were also tables for mutual parties; fairy tales loyal to the school darling, Apple White, and fairy tales in question. There were questions of how much did the littlest Bo Peep want to tend to sheep, like her destiny said, or continue a career in magical engineering. She had inherited a staff for field tending and possessed a mind for geometric reasoning. Apple was a brainy, fashionable icon but the shepherd girl wondered if she could do more with her life than what destiny designated.

The girl most certain of her destiny being rewritten was Raven Queen. Unafraid of the chain reaction speaking her mind created, Raven allowed herself to be happy with being new and different. She had a good dozen of friends behind her and one supportive Charming boyfriend at her side.

After reading the hex message from her iMirror, Raven laughed.

"Another picture of the mouse rolling on a thimble?" Prince Dexter asked before chewing on a piece of pickled ginger.

"His name is Earl Grey and it's actually a joke from Cedar." Raven said.

"I like jokes. Can I hear it?" The prince asked, his eye eyes shinning as he smiled.

Raven smiled back but she regretfully explained, "Sorry, sweetie, its kind of personal and requires you to have been at a place and time."

"Oh. That's okay. It'd be like when you didn't understand why seeing Hopper blow on a trumpet was funny-" Dexter began chuckling at the memory.

_Let him laugh even if it's immature_, Raven thought. She then glimpsed at the Rebel table where her friends sat. It was a quick glance because she didn't want to make Dexter feel guilty about anything. She missed them but she enjoyed the one-on-one time with her prince, time she got frequently because while he avoided her friends and she avoided his family they didn't avoid being together in public.

Their relationship offended many people. Duchess Swan made that clear with a megaphone the previous night. She promised to keep her bitterness to herself after Raven threatened to zap her into permanent swan-hood.

There was also Daring Charming; Dexter's older brother who was just as bitter but not sworn to silence.

"Look at them, fornicating with their eyes. Humiliating the Charming name with every touch of his boney little ex-bro pinky. It burns me to look at him. To look at that iron-cladded temptress of evil suck his soul. She's probably use for her biddy boppity boo. I hate looking at them." The handsome blonde prince stated to his betrothed.

Apple could've pointed out that no one was making him look at them but she knew Daring had his reasons.

"I've tried explaining to Raven she's doing evil wrong, but she just blocks me out. Not even bothering to put up a magic wall anymore." The future queen said, receiving supportive pats from Briar and Blondie.

"Apple, stop fretting your pretty face into early wrinkles, I'll take on the full job of hating Raven for the both of us." The brunette told her bestfriend.

The curly haired princess smiled at her beautiful friend. "Thank you, Briar. Daring, did you hear that? Briar is going to take on the job of hate for us! Such a weight off my puffy shoulders, now we can concentrate on putting the 'happy' back into our happily ever after!"

"Easy for you to say, Apple, you aren't the one with the risk of having nieces and nephews with warts and long noses." The vain young man said with a shudder.

Briar wanted to slap his head for his insensitivity to Apple. The fair-as-snow lipped princess was in a sad shock towards his words.

"Um, Daring, I am at risk since our destiny is to…"

Daring realized he misspoke. "Oh right. Don't worry, our children will be good looking no matter what we do."

Apple smiled and told herself to feel better because Daring cared. Briar showed she cared better, but Daring was her future so she tried to concentrate on him.

Blondie sat on the side, recording all the drama in the notepad of her brain. She wasn't completely detached from the bitterness; she had her own reasons to be annoyed with Dexter. She may not have been a princess but she felt entitled to do what she wanted.

The bear-loving girl stood up and walked toward the Dexen table.

"Dexter Charming," she said, getting the shy prince's attention. "You've become a homewrecker!"

The tiara-wearing boy's shoulders rose in defense but he didn't stop Blondie. His spikey-headband girlfriend stood up and put her hands on their table.

"If this is about Daring's whining, then you can tell him to talk to me cause I'm-"

"I'm not talking about that home, you purple laced thorn, I'm talking about my dorm! When you two came out with this hateful union the best roommate I ever had flew to another dimension! She said she's be back but it's been almost a full week since she even sent me a hex message!" Blondie told them, stomping her heels on the floor.

A wave of guilt hit Dexter and he stared at the bear faces on Blondie's skirt. Raven was about to tell Blondie off when someone in a red hood beat her to it.

"Back off, Blondie." Cerise had a soft voice, but there was something feral in her eyes.

"I'm not scared of talking animals, Cerise." The porridge loving-fiend told the girl who was acting positively beastly.

The Rebel pushed her white bang to the side. "And I'm not afraid to tell everyone your real name and how your hair color is really-"

"You wouldn't dare!" The faux-reporter regretted trading real information with the ghoulish girl.

"Then start on a trek into the woods." Cerise said, folding her arms to her sharp nails wouldn't show. She watched Blondie pout and then stormed off. The pointy-eared girl then felt a hand grab her own, it was done very gently as to not scare her.

"You're unbelievably awesome, Ree-Ree. I am getting you a new basket for that!" Raven told her good friend.

A tiny smile went on Cerise's face; for people who knew her better, it was a very confident one. "Don't mention it, Rae-Rae."

The girls joined hands; it was a mini-version of a hug. Dexter stood up and gave Cerise a full hug. Raven hadn't warned him before that she wasn't a fan of so much contact. It took a large amount of self-control for the Big Bad Wolf's daughter to keep from biting the foolish, but well-meaning prince.

Dexter thought it odd that Cerise smelled more salty and woods-like than girlish. However he remembered most girls he knew before were princesses who owned gallons of perfumes. So despite not being hugged back, the bespectacled boy felt his appreciation went through to her. The twitching eyes taught him not to do it again but Dexter gained more knowledge and respect for his girlfriend's good friend.

"Thank you, Ree-Ree." The prince said, wondering if and when he'd get a nickname like the others in Raven's group.

Raven snapped her fingers. Violet energy encircled the trash on their table and then sent it into the trashcan. As she watched Dexter grab his emerald chopsticks, she saw he was frowning- it was like a dark little cloud was hanging over his eyes. The witch knew he upset about what Blondie said.

It wasn't until a day later Raven brought it up again. The two were standing in a store for glasses and sunglasses. Dexter had a prescription that was updated and sent to him every few months via G-mail (Goose-mail). They were in the shop for laughs and he was enjoying himself until Raven said,

"When was the last time you talked to Cupid?" Raven asked while wearing large round glasses that made her look like an anime character.

Dexter was wearing green horn-rimmed glasses when he responded. "The day after you and I… ya know. I told her, she said she was happy for me and well, we didn't say much else."

"I can't imagine how hard that was." Raven said.

"I didn't ever imagine she was, well, that she considered me and her were... I mean, we were friends and her job is love and dating and all that so I always talked about you and she always listened, and I listened to her but just her nice advice on stuff not that, well, the obvious thing I wish I knew was there." Dexter admitted, wishing he were as eloquent with Raven as he had been with Cupid.

"Am I allowed to ask what you would've done if you knew how she really felt about you?" Raven took off the glasses and played with them in her hand. She was nervous to hear his answer.

"I don't know. Cupid was great, cute and sweet and looked like a pink cloud, felt like one too, except except she wasn't watery. But I never saw her as a girl- I saw her as my friend. I mean, I knew she was a girl, but…"

"I get it Dex. What you guys had was complicated but it was…. good." Raven said, she felt a little sickness in her stomach but her brain told her it was unnecessary.

_Girls are so smart_, Dexter thought and then said. "You are so great."

"Don't you mean 'gort'?" Raven quipped, trying to make it about her and him again. She was the one that asked about Cupid but she didn't really want to make the topic last.

"Absolutely gort-e-ful. The gorty-est." Dexter said as he kissed her right cheek, then the left, and then the lips.

Raven kissed back and then said. "That wasn't so excruciating after all."

"Yes! Water under the troll bridge." Dexter said, he then pecked her lips and grabbed the sunglasses she'd forgotten on her head. Taking out his golden-thread credit card, Dexter happily estimated how much the nine pairs of glasses would cost plus their tax.

"Oh, and I'm cool with you calling her and saying 'hi' or something like that. I kind of want to apologize for hurting her feelings but I think it'd be easier if you went in first." Raven told him as he put the handful of glasses on the checkout counter.

It was the sincere Raven voice that said the words, but Deter felt a worm grow in his brain hearing her. "Are trying a new level of sarcasm?"

"I'm not being sarcastic, I'm saying I trust you and I'm cool if you see your close friend." Raven said, surprised he sounded dubious.

The worm in his brain continued to squirm, telling him not to believe her. "Your tone says different. And I don't want to push us into her face."

Raven raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me? That's not what I'm trying to do. You sound like you think I'm lying."

"Raven, if the situation was reversed I would ask you not to see your friend of the opposite gender who posses feelings for you, because like a normal human I'd be jealous and restrictive."

"Well I'm not that kind of girl. Why are you grilling me on this?" If she wasn't careful, the acid in Raven's veins could've escaped from her fingers and melted his face.

"Because I feel like this is a test to see if I'm loyal or not." Dexter didn't stop the words because they felt right.

"Hear me as I say this; I trust you." The witch explained slowly, using her hands to accent the words.

"Really?"

"We're going in circles because that tree looks familiar."

"I'm sorry, but I can't believe you'd be this cool when your first thought seeing us together was we were a couple."

Raven's body let out magical energy that began to lift the glasses off the tables.

"You were holding hands and sharing a moment! It's almost impossible for anyone to believe you weren't in love at that moment!"

"You know what's a moment I can't believe? Seeing you go all goo-goo eyes for my brother just like every other girl in this kingdom!"

The store clerk wanted to ask the couple to stop arguing. A little part of it was because he didn't believe the boy had any ground to accuse the witch. The bigger part was fear of seeing the glasses swirl in a twister.

"It's always back to Daring! You should've written your full name! If Darling was on the scene I might've asked her next!"

"Let's be honest, you'll go for anyone who gives you the littlest bit of attention!"

The words stung and weakened Raven's moral grounds. "You want real honesty? I don't like sushi!"

"You ate the whole plate!" The prince stated, stunned at Raven's cruelty.

"Yes, I ate all twenty four bites of cold, mushy, sand-texture balls of seaweed! I get you like imported food but that doesn't make up for the bland flavor!"

"You looked me in the eye and ate all the ginger with a smile! How I am supposed to believe anything you say when you admit to lying with a smile!"

"Oh get over yourself, you little drama prince!"

….

"And that, ladies, is why we are done." Raven told her friends.

The witch-princess was sitting in the dormroom of Hood& Wood. On Cedar's bed was a beautiful array of trail mix snacks and jerky.

"It was that bad of a fight?" Cedar as patted Raven's shoulder.

The hand was wooden and cold, but Raven still felt great warmth. "Dexter was insane, and not in the lovable Maddie way."

"Did he pull a sword on you?" Cerise asked, imagining an epic battle between Raven and a sword-wielding prince.

"What, no. He's crazy but he only cuts with words, not swords." Raven folded her arms. "I'm not sure he can lift a sword."

"Going for blood, I see. That's not like you." Cerise stated, chewing on a strip of deer.

"I'm just-just so mad! I thought Dexter was the biggest sweetheart but then I wake up and see he's a toad. A spoiled, sheltered, ridiculous toad who needs to clean his glasses because they are too foggy to see the truth!" Raven said, she could see her eyes glowing pink in their mirror's reflection. She didn't enjoy the evil look so she took a breath and tried to calm down.

"Yeah, but Raven…" Red Riding Hood's daughter searched for the right words in her hood.

"You're overreacting and not listening to him." Cedar said, knowing exactly what she wanted to say.

"Me?" Raven asked. She watched Cedar nod, her eyes wide and certain, while Cerise reluctantly nodded in the lightest gesture.

"I literally cannot even try to lie, and while I'm scared of hurting your feelings and seeing the purple flames shoot from your ears, I-"

A plaid sleeve covered Cedar's mouth. "Let me. Raven, people have layers. Underneath their hoods they hide secrets and it's scary for them to imagine showing others. Prince Hipster wishes he was the perfect prince but-"

"But that's not the problem." The girl with the spikes defended herself. "I am fine with Dexter not being as athletic or sly as every other dime-a-dozen prince. His problem is-"

"His problem is that it's not a secret." The cricket-decorated girl interjected. "Dexter is a smart guy but he's insecure."

"I try to reassure him how I think he's actually an awesome boyfriend all the time! Why is everyone saying I did wrong?" Raven didn't feel fire shooting from her ears; she felt bees buzzing in her head.

"Dexter hears you, but I think from the story it sounds like he _wants_ is to see you jealous. " The puppet girl said.

"That is complet- I'm not jealous!"

"Not at all?" Cedar gently asked.

"Not an inch."

"Not even a pinch?" Cerise asked, looking at Raven's stubborn pout.

Raven held onto her pride for a minute longer and then whispered. "The tiniest grain, (voice rises) but I know him, I know- at least I thought he'd never be selfish or stupid like that."

Pinocchio's daughter hated when people got the wrong idea from what she had said. "We defiantly believe Dexter wouldn't cheat on you either! But he still wants you to make a claim on him, he wants to hear you'd -"

"Hear you'd rather zap Cupid into a zucchini before she'd attempt to steal him away." Cerise stated as she curled her paws around to imitate Raven's gestures during spell casting.

Cedar giggled, and both girls were relieved to hear Raven laugh as well. It was light but filled with appreciation for her luck in having hexecellent friends.

…

In the new morning, Raven decided she and Dexter weren't broken up. The dark princess knew he probably considered them so after she ignored his recent messages. She had considered it for a minute as well, and felt her stomach kick itself repeatedly.

At her locker, Raven held an 'I'm sorry we fought and I missed you' card. Her plan was to tell Dexter she wanted to continuing seeing him as more than a friend.

Raven was about to grab her iMirror and ask him to meet her when a tall figure in a jersey leaned against the locker next to hers.

"Sorry to hear about you and the little-boy-blue-prince breaking up." The tall troll boy from Raven's evilonimics class stated.

"Who told you we did?" The witch asked the creature she shared a bad reputation with- being the children of historically wicked creatures.

"Heard it from the Royal-wannabe." The troll said, eyeing Raven's long white neck through his spikey bangs.

"Tolkien, you aren't the type to listen to Royal gossip." Raven told the teal-skinned boy who often times she could predict the intentions of- in their class, anyway.

"And I didn't think you dated, your evil majesty. I'm giddy to know you do." In his smirk, Raven could see pointy teeth

The witch closed her locker and narrowed her eyes. "Please don't tell me I know where you're going with this."

"I know of this awesome cliff that looks out to a torched field. And you know how well I can mix potions and drinks." The boy said as he pretended to stir in the air with his long, grey-nailed finger.

He was handsome, in an unconventional magical creature way. And he was adaptable to danger and above petty human traits. _If it were a week before, maybe_- Raven thought as she grabbed her notebooks. Raven was about to politely turn him down before she was interrupted with;

"She's busy for the next hundred years." The bespectacled prince stated, coming form behind Raven and putting his hand on her shoulder.

The purple-haired girl noticed a few fairytales stopped to watch them.

"Raven can speak for herself, Normie." Tolkien said, staring down at the prince-of-too-much-conditioner.

"Yeah, yeah, we all know she's the free-spirited, hot speech-giving Rebel Queen, but I'm talking right now. And I hope you can hear me from up there; Stay. Away. From my. Woman."

Tolkien despised being told what to do by a Royal; mostly because he couldn't punch one out without bringing down all of troll pride.

Raven looked up at the creature, "Tolkien, let's all be friends."

The boy smirked at the 'evil' girl, "See ya, hun." Then walked past the prince, gently bumping his elbow against the prince's shoulder. Raven could hear the other fairy tales whispering around them.

Dexter watched the troll walk away. He then felt a tug on his arm and his feet unbalance as he was pulled away. The prince remembered how to walk and tried to keep up with the stomping Raven

The witch pulled him to the balcony where they usually watched the sunset.

"You've gone insane."

He knew Raven wasn't evil, but her eyes and voice did scare him. "Raven, I-"

"You acted like a macho idiot! And in public! And you wanna know the worse part about it?" The witch asked, tossing her books to the ground.

The wicked princess cupped her hands together. "I loved it."

This statement stopped the prince's timid squinting. "You what?"

"You acting like a jerk! Its horrible but it made me feel special." Raven admitted, her eyes melting like glistening oil.

"oh. Uhh….Does that mean I'm still your Prince Charming?" He asked, taking her hands and begging with his smile.

Raven kissed his nose. "Abso-Ferula- lutely. "

"Oh thank Grim. I missed you, Cuddlebug." Dexter said as he hugged his returned girlfriend.

"It's been less than forty-eight hours, Dexter. I didn't like it." Raven admitted, touching the gold buttons on the jacket. "Oh, and I made you this."

The goth girl bent down to grab the card from inside her notebook. It was decorated very nicely with holographic lighting around the edges and a large black heart in the center.

Dexter opened it and a small cloud of transparent pink popped out. It sang with Raven's voice,

"_For better or worst,_

_I am cursed_

_To love you forever after_."

"You know the last part didn't rhyme." Dexter stated, smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"Oh be quiet. And for the record I do no hate Cupid and think we need to make peace with her." Raven said she put her arms around Dexter's neck.

"But any threat to you and me will be buried alive under nursery rhyme playground." The witch promised as she stared into Dexter's rich blue eyes.

_She is so good at being romantical_, Dexter thought as they hugged.


End file.
